Parties and Pistols - Part 3
“…..and you, Franco, where did you falavelin’ go? Tell me now. Now! You were supposed to pick Ari up at the gate, a-t t-h-e g-a-t e! What part of gate did you not get?!! You nearly got him killed! Where were you? Why did we lose you for 3 hours? What the flying fak do you think we pay you for? Suntans in Medellin? You fucked up really bad and don’t blame it on that guy. (look of total disgust my way). The equation is simple you tossers: I, me, moi, io give the orders and you fall in! That simple. This is not an anarchists-r-us club. We follow precise instructions! Ari, where did you get the idea you could just go and kill that guy? Ever heard of the word Sin? Sin! Sinners! Damn the moment I ever thought you were half-decent for this job. Mauro….ooooohh…you….I have nothing but complete contempt and for you. I have no idea how you manage to complete crosswords; let alone a mission, I have no idea how you happen to be one of the best at this. You have no respect for authority. Your attitude stinks. Your have never left stage one of puberty in your mind. You chase women during missions, you smoke dope behind Ari’s back, you make sexist remarks to Zuzu and you insinuate totally fake stories about Franco! If there was an idiocy competition you’d win it without competing.
And I am left picking up the pieces of your overall performances. Mons Papi ain’t a joker you know! I was slow roasted on a stick that went from my bottom to my mouth, all I needed was my gob open an’an apple stuffed in my mouth.
I had to find excuses for all of you.
I was made to apologise to the Pontiff himself! He is beside himself in shame for what you lot have managed to do this time! This one’s a German you know! I hate you all….I really do, you bunch of walking twats! I mean. Go away, get out of my sight, you’re on indefinite suspension.”
Maresciallo Midden was out of her head. We truly fucked up this time. Franco and I pulled a hubby and wifey couple when we were supposed to just follow them and he went off for 3 hours to interrogate him...I just took 5 minutes….a quick interrogation more like. Ari just “forgot” this was one terrorist we needed alive…Stormi managed to add a chemical solution to Zuzu’s lipstick instead of using that solution to knock out the wife, Zuzu` gave the lipstick to Franco…
The only difference this time was that what was to be a hush-hush operation with no kills ended up with a corpse, sexual allegations and gross misconduct calls…well, nothing new there.
After the severe beating, we were left alone for the rest of the day, to carry on feeling depressed.
“I’m not sure I need more of this for the day; I’m off to buy some stuff for my new place” Stormi said, “bought a place?” Zuzu asked, “Ye, bought a place. I want to settle down soon.” “You found somebody?” “Yes, me. I think I gave what I had to give you know? I think I’ll call it a day soon” “You told Tovarich Popmitten?” “You joking? No, I’ll just break her into it when I’m ready. Need just a bit more dosh” “How much?” “About 200k” “You need 200k?” “You got 200k?” “No. I asked if you needed 200k” “Yes, more or less, yes, that’s what I need” ”I might have something lined up, I can’t tell the guys, fucking pricks they’ll be all-over me like a rush” “What is it?” “ I’ll tell you soon. Just keep a line open on this one girl” “What, we’re trusting each-other now?” “Yes, why not. War’s over ok?” “Ok”
“Listen Boss, let’s reason about this. We’re always so …I don’t know. You’re always so rough with me. I serve you and the cause well, I have never left a bad smell behind and surely all these successful missions must speak for me no? You’re very hard.” “What, did I hurt your feelings? What do you think this is; a support group?”
“You see? What I am saying is that by now we should relate much better, after all this time and after all we’ve gone through”
“I’ll think about it. You do piss me off with your sarcasm”
“The disrespectful part is the Roman in me boss…the rest is just folklore”
“Well, we’ll see. You’ve been sweet as pie before only for me to find out you were only lining something up, my friend.” “I’m not lining anything up but you know I’ve been wanting out for sometime now. I think I have paid my debt to society with more authorised crime ever to be committed by one man. I mean, what I have done to repay by far out-weights what I originally did!” “We’ll see. As you know, we will need to move right for you to get out and be able to move on. Let’s get over this latest mess. Let Mons. Papi calm down. I know where he needs you next and he has a very important project in North Africa. He wants to challenge them in their backyard. He is moving all his pieces there to create a network, which directly attacks brotherhoods and the regimes at the same time. A string of small businesses are being lined up for you and others. You will live with and operate from within the Copt community. You will create disorder and perpetuate hostile unprovoked attacks on institutions, scholars etc etc. A list of 300 people is ready. They all need to be targeted and addressed in a spectrum of manners. You will have a lot of work. Also, you will only be a part of a wider net he is casting with Opus Dei. You will need to interact if asked, if not, just totally undetectable as per standard practice. You will need to infiltrate and lay low in TV networks, sabotage editing when requested. Newspapers, radios, hospitals, schools. We are placing men everywhere. I estimate over 200 agents have been moved across.
From the moment you are in North African soil, you will be dispensed of any law.
You will be granted lawlessness.
The resistance has become attack now. We think this war will last 30 years.”
“I thought we were talking about my departure from the scene….”
“Yes…you will after laying the ground, after a few pre-emptive strikes to nerve-centres. 6 Months and you’re out. That’s it. No more. No war zone, no dilly-dally business.
Just straightforward terrorism Brigate Rosse style.
Hit 1 to educate 100.
You’re the best at this and with Franco, Ari and the girls, you’ll do wonders. My crew is budgeted for the dispense of at least 100 situations using harassment, extortion, blackmail, elimination, disposal, forging, trafficking and corruption. The end will justify any of the means we will use.
Zuzu will take over the stolen car trade with her SA families connections. The business is there and existing, we take it over and every car we send we fit with an explosive device we can detonate at will and whenever. We plan to facilitate the traffic of 1200 cars a month. All primed to explode either when their individual code hits them or all together when the general code is released.
Imagine the panic. Just imagine. The devices have a 10 years life span. Only Mons Papi could think of that. What a plan.
Franco will go porno. The NY families have had porno and cars since the 70s in the whole Middle East. Using Ari’s NY families channel, eventually Franco will get in prime position. Slowly we will use a different paper in which the stuff is printed on. Slowly, chemicals will enter the body through finger pores. When yet another kind of paper is introduced, added chemicals will trigger and the subject enters a semi-permanent state of confusion, which will last up to a week and it will be complete with visions, cold sweats and high fever symptoms. Incapacitated for one whole week with the runnies. This is aimed at all kinds of Armed Forces.
Mauro, Ari, Stormy are the prime fire-group. Stormy the face of extortions, Ari the prime trigger, you the back up shooter.”
“I like that, I just stay behind him then ye? I stay at the hotel, good stuff for a change”
“No, it just mean that he gets to chose his targets and then distribute and delegate the rest.”
“Delegate. Can’t do everything on his own.”
“ I beg to differ and I am resentful over this evident favouritism at work. Surely this is against the Human Resources practices in use. On the numbers, I have less disposals, better quality eliminations and a clear ability in not being detected (which is easy if you’re only there with your fantasy) I have a proven track and only recently concluded successfully my first ever and second missions in the ME. I really would be prone to say I am a by far a more cost effective and efficient resource.
Ari can’t hit a three if it’s more than a meter away, shoots at anything that consists of more than two cells (Hence always at Laura Two Cells), is incapable of timing and always starts the interrogations by shooting the suspect. He drinks, reminisces about a wife he’s probably never had and lately he’s been reported to visit kernels at night. He is turning loopy. I wouldn’t trust him, I wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole”
“Very funny Mauro. Very. You also have two sexual harassment complaints (one from me), two gross misconduct disciplinary over lack of discipline and one actual ongoing corruption case. I remind you, you still have to finish explaining why Michele Maino was found with that component only you had. And you lost. 3.5million USD of it. So, silenzio then. Like I said, Ari tops the chart and delegates. Ev, the business face. He’ll be in charge of the money.
Also, you will have to work with Madame Le Flo’s and in her circle there’s that banker Monsieur Biliguel who can help with the DCF. (Droite Christienne Francaise) ((RT!)) , you’ve got Lady Annie and the Philadelphia Banks, you’ve got Signora Falco-Rosso and the estates in Sardinia (the only internationally recognised safe heaven for the very rich and powerful)
“Interesting. Ok boss, I will tell the guys.”
“I’m not finished. Listen to this one…Mosn. Papi had a ring around Rip “Heads” Ford’s recent confirmation. Rip owes and will pay with a 3 months stint with his crew Laura Two Cells, Dance The Bullet and Martin “The G” Grave.
Rip said no first…then found himself at the centre of a major FBI investigation and reconsidered. End of investigation. Santa Opus Dei.
“Boss…by the way, didn’t we have fun at rip’s birthday eh!” “Yes, it was really good. For a change you all behaved well and appropriate for Vatican service. Maybe that Rip has a notorious crew of killers and psychopaths helped though.”
“A bit yes, I’d say that”
“Eddie Mahmood is at the towers central, you refer to him anytime you are near any piece of equipment that can send or receive anything. Even if it’s a fucking Take Away cell phone.
He is the net-brain behind all forecasting and communication. Just watch the maps, he’s stuck with this Gulf thing. I gave him a map of the world but he cut the gulf off and used the rest to wipe the windscreen. So…go easy. I think he sees himself as a Florida Freedom Fighter but don’t say that, just say yes. Don’t antagonise him of Franco will butt in and start posting compromising photos, you know what you start, so just drop it there”
“I wont even discuss it boss. When I see the gulf I will just play along with that like nothing. Touchy eh?”
4 months later…
“A head of a counter-espionage agency, one bullet from 2 miles. Another outside his office from 1540 meters. Another while asleep from the window. 740 meters. Mesh at his best. The vice director of the Red Crescent, in the upper neck. Major of town A upper neck. Major of town B in upper neck. Ari’s work. Obscured left wing politician. That journalist, drawn. TV news director, suicide. Reporter gone mad. Cameraman lost and never found. Zulu’s work. Two civil servants, knees. 4 scholars, knees. 2 university lecturers disappeared in the Sahara, scores of local lords on the run from something that they just don’t even know what is. Mauro & Franchino.
One safe dam collapse, airports, stations, ports sabotaged repeatedly. Every time with notice so to block the country chosen without loss of lives. Herr Kommander Zorks.
Reported thefts of documents, artefacts, engineering plans, valuables, commodities.
Every currency forged to perfection.
8600 cars already circulating, well beyond expectations. Stage 1 of paper contamination complete. Mons Papi illuminated underworld work.
Impressive. Impressive and only 3 months. Rip’s crew will have to do as good.
“But we lost Big in Tunis for nothing” “No, we lost him because it was decided we had to let him go and meet the maker. It was his time, he had asked to be released upward a few times”
“and we let Ev off the hook again. He got away with 2 million US and has another own-cult complete with 64 wives, Mercedes and all mod cons estate in Arkansas.”
“Ah…leave it. You know Ev, he’ll just be parked there for us when we need him. That was only electro-money. He doesn’t know that he really doesn’t own anything he has. Everything seems to be on his name but truly, all our. I close the tab, present the bill and get him to work. Simple. Better than having to look for him and begging.”
“And Stormi and Zuzu never came back from that car traffic deal. And neither the 12 million quid of the local syndacate.” “Well…I knew Stormi wanted out, Zuzu warned me. What I didn’t realise was that Zuzu was in it with Stormi from the start.” “It was a true mess that day, I heard” “They killed all the syndacate associates there and took the money. Simple.” “Yes but 8653 bullets fired from 2 weapons?” “you know…they probably got excited working together…girls…”
“Franco is back in Colombia now. I think he’s bought a big estate and farms. He was always good at heart. He’s just going to take it easy.
Ari’s packed it all up and has a kernel in Louisiana. He’s happy. I’ve decided to open an Internet forum and write about cheese. I’ll find you there.”
Well I’m off too now. I paid many times around.
I’m on a promise to go visit Ari in 10 years, when some this stains are no longer on my shirt. When some of this dry sweat is no longer sticking to this blood crusted shirt. When sleeping at night wont be harder than working a day. Pistol’s packed away, no more parties now.
Generale Mauro, la Guerra e` finita.
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