discarded lies: friday, september 19, 2014 8:56 pm zst
It debones your anchovies
daily archive: 12/10/2008
guest author: jaujau in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: franco cbi in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: evariste in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lady of Shalott in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: jaujau in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: franco cbi in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lady of Shalott in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: airforcewife in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Aridog in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Jourdan in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies:
Don’t lick the boat!
…and other odd things parents say.
Becoming a parent means that all kinds of things about your life change; what you consider to be appropriate conversation is probably one of the more notable illustrations. For instance, I highly doubt that the bathroom habits of babies would be on your list of dinner conversation topics, but afterward (especially if in the company of other parents of young children), various bodily functions, amounts and circumstances are frequent topics of discussion – much to the horror of any singles who are unfortunate enough to be nearby. And I doubt that any non-parent would fully appreciate the “Yay! You went pee!” and ensuing fuss over a potty training toddler.

As children get older and learn to talk, one begins to foster hopes of the exchange of ideas and the passing on of the wisdom of the ages. Only to find that most conversation revolves around incessant “Whys” or imperatives – “Put your shoes on,” “Clean your room,” “Don’t hit your brother”….

It is in this last category of imperatives that I have found some of the more amusing moments of parenting. Unfortunately, though I remember laughing at what came out of my mouth on a number of occasions, I blame the child to memory loss ratio on the failure to remember most of them. There are a few notable exceptions:

When the girls were little, we lived near Niagara Falls, and most people who came to visit wanted to go on the Maid of the Mist, a boat ride that takes you very close to the falls – you get very wet! On this one particular trip, the youngest was about 3 and couldn’t quite see over the side of the boat. I held her for most of the trip so she could see, but put her down at one point just to give my back and arms a break. A minute or so later, I happened to look down and saw a little pink tongue stretched out to the railing. How could she resist trying out some of those drops of water running down the side? And that was when I heard myself say, “Don’t lick the boat!”

More recently, I found that our son is part puppy. He got teeth far earlier than the girls did, and chews all over everything. After seeing the damage done to my glasses case, I realized that we probably had to take measures to protect our leather furniture, so I heard myself say, “Don’t chew on the couches!”

And little people with runny noses are always fun to manage; I tried to keep up with him and jump in with tissues as often as possible with his most recent cold, but I just wasn’t quick enough a couple of times; finger puppets were far more convenient. And I heard myself saying, “Don’t wipe your nose on the chicken!”

Soooo… those of you who are parents, what odd things have you heard yourself say? If you’re not a parent, what are some things you remember your parents saying to you or that you’ve overheard a parent say?
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Arcy in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Thousand Sons in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Hamas or Abbas? in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: QuietusLeo in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: jaujau in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Jourdan in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: lady red גברת אדומה in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: outdoorspro in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
search & handy links
threads you've been on
linkopotamia
hot threads today
by our guest authors
hippocampus
day-by-day archives
category archives
link lists
colophon
 
recent comments:
badboyrecovered
[ #13 ]/ evariste Got my 5 when the 5S was only a month away, so
evariste @ large
[ Scottish insults ]/
zorkmidden
[ #3 ]/ evariste @ large: We did, is true. No one's castle is at risk any more.
franco cbi
And [ Adolf Elizabeth Hitler ]/ , too.
evariste @ large
Queen zorkmidden and Queen Elizabeth heaved a sigh of relief.
franco cbi
North Lanarkshire and West Dunbartonshire are adjacent to Glasgow. So the "Yes" vote carried in only two areas of Scotland
franco cbi
Yes 1,617,989 (44.7%), No 2,001,926 (55.3%) The referendum won in only four of Scotland's 32 Council Areas: Dundee
franco cbi
' The gay-and-transgender unit of the Men’s Central Jail in Los Angeles County is safe and gang-free—so much so
franco cbi
Oh, those poor rectums. :(
evariste @ large
[ Related: how gangs took over prisons ]/
Jaujau
Such a precious gift, this headline.
Jaujau
50 shades of dumb. I'm celebrating the death of the television in my house. No cable, no antenna. No worries!
Jaujau
I read somewhere that there are about ten surnames in Korea.
packen
Boom!
kianb
You're welcome. Glad you liked it!
evariste @ large
Awesome scene.
evariste
[ Apple creates a tool to let you remove the free U2 album from your acocount if you're that
evariste
Apple has legendary bad taste in music.
zorkmidden
[ #1 ]/ evariste: And for the middle-aged among us is "why the fuck pick U2?"
zorkmidden
[ #8 ]/ packen: Add flu to the list. I'm on the fourth miserable day of it.
 
the hyperlinkopotamus:
evariste @ large left a comment at 11:08 am 09/19
zorkmidden and franco cbi have also commented
franco cbi left a comment at 5:29 pm 09/18
evariste @ large is also here
Jaujau left a comment at 6:53 pm 09/16
packen left a comment at 6:07 am 09/16
evariste @ large is also here
 
 
Bloggies Of Our Lives
Season One
Season Two
Season Three
Special Guest Episodes
 
Ferkakta
Ferkakta Timeshare Presentation
Postcard from Ferkakta
Ferkakta Is Open For Business
Lord of the Banned: An Epic Trilogy In Three Parts

Ferkakta Games
Codename:Ferkakta Hill
Ferkakta By Night
Shipwrecked
House
 
vital signs
Circulation
last 15 minutes:28
last hour:55
last 24 hours:673
Comments
since midnight:7
last 24 hours:7
in our lifetime:5949