discarded lies: saturday, august 23, 2014 12:11 pm zst
the more the glee
daily archive: 12/10/2008
guest author: jaujau in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: franco cbi in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: evariste in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lady of Shalott in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: jaujau in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: franco cbi in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lady of Shalott in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: airforcewife in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Aridog in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Jourdan in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies:
Don’t lick the boat!
…and other odd things parents say.
Becoming a parent means that all kinds of things about your life change; what you consider to be appropriate conversation is probably one of the more notable illustrations. For instance, I highly doubt that the bathroom habits of babies would be on your list of dinner conversation topics, but afterward (especially if in the company of other parents of young children), various bodily functions, amounts and circumstances are frequent topics of discussion – much to the horror of any singles who are unfortunate enough to be nearby. And I doubt that any non-parent would fully appreciate the “Yay! You went pee!” and ensuing fuss over a potty training toddler.

As children get older and learn to talk, one begins to foster hopes of the exchange of ideas and the passing on of the wisdom of the ages. Only to find that most conversation revolves around incessant “Whys” or imperatives – “Put your shoes on,” “Clean your room,” “Don’t hit your brother”….

It is in this last category of imperatives that I have found some of the more amusing moments of parenting. Unfortunately, though I remember laughing at what came out of my mouth on a number of occasions, I blame the child to memory loss ratio on the failure to remember most of them. There are a few notable exceptions:

When the girls were little, we lived near Niagara Falls, and most people who came to visit wanted to go on the Maid of the Mist, a boat ride that takes you very close to the falls – you get very wet! On this one particular trip, the youngest was about 3 and couldn’t quite see over the side of the boat. I held her for most of the trip so she could see, but put her down at one point just to give my back and arms a break. A minute or so later, I happened to look down and saw a little pink tongue stretched out to the railing. How could she resist trying out some of those drops of water running down the side? And that was when I heard myself say, “Don’t lick the boat!”

More recently, I found that our son is part puppy. He got teeth far earlier than the girls did, and chews all over everything. After seeing the damage done to my glasses case, I realized that we probably had to take measures to protect our leather furniture, so I heard myself say, “Don’t chew on the couches!”

And little people with runny noses are always fun to manage; I tried to keep up with him and jump in with tissues as often as possible with his most recent cold, but I just wasn’t quick enough a couple of times; finger puppets were far more convenient. And I heard myself saying, “Don’t wipe your nose on the chicken!”

Soooo… those of you who are parents, what odd things have you heard yourself say? If you’re not a parent, what are some things you remember your parents saying to you or that you’ve overheard a parent say?
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Arcy in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Thousand Sons in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Hamas or Abbas? in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: QuietusLeo in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: jaujau in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Jourdan in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: lady red גברת אדומה in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: outdoorspro in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
search & handy links
threads you've been on
linkopotamia
hot threads today
by our guest authors
hippocampus
day-by-day archives
category archives
link lists
colophon
 
recent comments:
kianb
[ #8 ]/ zorkmidden The more I hear about Ebola, the more I want to watch
kianb
That's amazingly done. Great skills you got there!
evariste @ large
Are you sure it's not Ebola?
kianb
Thanks for your insight Zork. I agree that creating an indie game must involve loving what you are doing and
zorkmidden
[ #9 ]/ packen: LMAO.
franco cbi
' 99% of the time, when things didn’t work it was just because the customer had shitty OEM drivers
packen
[ #7 ]/ zorkmidden: I don't know about you, but when I heard about Ebola in Sacramento, my first
franco cbi
[ #2 ]/ zorkmidden: Yes! LOL I see the Joker and Black Santa Claus but I can't identify
zorkmidden
That was a very good read, thanks kian!
zorkmidden
I don't sympathize with his bitterness though. I'm a gamer and a game developer and it's my love for games
zorkmidden
' The problem we generally have is just that Intel drivers – almost always Intel – simply crash our
zorkmidden
' Of course, 99% of the time, when things didn’t work it was just because the customer had shitty
zorkmidden
' By which I mean, independent game developers get more nasty shit from gamers than they get praise. '
zorkmidden
Is that Ronald McDonald behind Superman?
zorkmidden
The more I hear about Ebola, the more I want to watch World War Z for the fiftieth time.
zorkmidden
The article in the Sacramento Bee had an accompanying poll "How concerned are you that you'll catch Ebola" or something
zorkmidden
[ Phew! We can all breathe safely now. ]/ (Except for evariste, who is still in quarantine.)
Jordan
I'm 14 and I had sex for the first time and the condom broke and I had no idea I
evariste
She told me so in a way that I won't soons forget.
evariste
I have it on good authority that patient zero is not zorkie either.
 
the hyperlinkopotamus:
kianb left a comment at 1:51 am 08/23
zorkmidden, packen, evariste, and papijoe have also commented
kianb left a comment at 5:07 pm 08/22
franco cbi and zorkmidden have also commented
kianb left a comment at 1:17 pm 08/19
franco cbi left a comment at 5:24 am 08/18
evariste is also here
zorkmidden left a comment at 9:28 pm 08/14
packen is also here
franco cbi left a comment at 4:32 am 08/19
packen, evariste, zorkmidden, and evariste @ large have also commented
 
 
Bloggies Of Our Lives
Season One
Season Two
Season Three
Special Guest Episodes
 
Ferkakta
Ferkakta Timeshare Presentation
Postcard from Ferkakta
Ferkakta Is Open For Business
Lord of the Banned: An Epic Trilogy In Three Parts

Ferkakta Games
Codename:Ferkakta Hill
Ferkakta By Night
Shipwrecked
House
 
vital signs
Circulation
last 15 minutes:37
last hour:66
last 24 hours:623
Comments
since midnight:2
last 24 hours:5
in our lifetime:5754