discarded lies: tuesday, september 1, 2015 11:17 pm zst
Fetabaggers
daily archive: 12/10/2008
guest author: jaujau in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: franco cbi in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: evariste in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lady of Shalott in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: jaujau in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: franco cbi in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lady of Shalott in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: airforcewife in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Aridog in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Jourdan in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies:
Don’t lick the boat!
…and other odd things parents say.
Becoming a parent means that all kinds of things about your life change; what you consider to be appropriate conversation is probably one of the more notable illustrations. For instance, I highly doubt that the bathroom habits of babies would be on your list of dinner conversation topics, but afterward (especially if in the company of other parents of young children), various bodily functions, amounts and circumstances are frequent topics of discussion – much to the horror of any singles who are unfortunate enough to be nearby. And I doubt that any non-parent would fully appreciate the “Yay! You went pee!” and ensuing fuss over a potty training toddler.

As children get older and learn to talk, one begins to foster hopes of the exchange of ideas and the passing on of the wisdom of the ages. Only to find that most conversation revolves around incessant “Whys” or imperatives – “Put your shoes on,” “Clean your room,” “Don’t hit your brother”….

It is in this last category of imperatives that I have found some of the more amusing moments of parenting. Unfortunately, though I remember laughing at what came out of my mouth on a number of occasions, I blame the child to memory loss ratio on the failure to remember most of them. There are a few notable exceptions:

When the girls were little, we lived near Niagara Falls, and most people who came to visit wanted to go on the Maid of the Mist, a boat ride that takes you very close to the falls – you get very wet! On this one particular trip, the youngest was about 3 and couldn’t quite see over the side of the boat. I held her for most of the trip so she could see, but put her down at one point just to give my back and arms a break. A minute or so later, I happened to look down and saw a little pink tongue stretched out to the railing. How could she resist trying out some of those drops of water running down the side? And that was when I heard myself say, “Don’t lick the boat!”

More recently, I found that our son is part puppy. He got teeth far earlier than the girls did, and chews all over everything. After seeing the damage done to my glasses case, I realized that we probably had to take measures to protect our leather furniture, so I heard myself say, “Don’t chew on the couches!”

And little people with runny noses are always fun to manage; I tried to keep up with him and jump in with tissues as often as possible with his most recent cold, but I just wasn’t quick enough a couple of times; finger puppets were far more convenient. And I heard myself saying, “Don’t wipe your nose on the chicken!”

Soooo… those of you who are parents, what odd things have you heard yourself say? If you’re not a parent, what are some things you remember your parents saying to you or that you’ve overheard a parent say?
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Arcy in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Thousand Sons in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Hamas or Abbas? in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: QuietusLeo in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: jaujau in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Jourdan in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Lyana in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: lady red גברת אדומה in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: outdoorspro in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
search & handy links
threads you've been on
linkopotamia
hot threads today
by our guest authors
hippocampus
day-by-day archives
category archives
link lists
colophon
 
recent comments:
Sam
Great... :D
franco cbi
The name of the blog came from Hamsher's three favorite activities - sitting by the fire, with her dog, watching
franco cbi
' Jane Hamsher made the [ announcement ]/ [on July 30] that Firedoglake is shutting down, and all archived
evariste
' Between 1880 and 1920, the residents of a relatively isolated Northern California town called Boonville spoke a secret
kianb
Here is another good interview with Bernie Sanders: [ Bernie Sanders - The Vox conversation ]/
kianb
Interesting comments and ratings. Also at the moment it says: ' Only 1 left in stock. '
kianb
Do one thing jury: please do the needful.
evariste @ large
Please do the needful, jury.
evariste @ large
I hope we get rid of the death penalty, but first, I hope we execute Holmes and Tsarnaev.
evariste @ large
Prepone is pretty good, but I'm really fond of doing the needful.
evariste @ large
Let's kill this fucker while we still can, jury, cuz this death penalty shit is on the way out.
franco cbi
"Prepone" is my very favorite.
franco cbi
With 40% of the ballots counted, "OXI" has 61% of the votes.
franco cbi
In Athens this week, all public transportation is free because people don't have enough cash on hand. :(
franco cbi
[ #1 ]/ evariste @ large Bonus: Sully came out of retirement to mark the occasion.
franco cbi
Even on this issue, I had a shift as well. At first I wasn't really convinced that there was a
franco cbi
The day after I got home from the trip to visit my brother, I went shopping with a friend, and
franco cbi
The change was very gradual between 2005 and 2008. I remember when the discussion of [ Graeme Frost and the
zorkmidden
I also observed that there was no difference between the Tea Party rhetoric and that of the Golden Dawn.
zorkmidden
[ ATM lines in Thessaloniki ]/
 
the hyperlinkopotamus:
Sam left a comment at 12:34 pm 08/26
franco cbi left a comment at 3:11 pm 08/14
evariste left a comment at 10:55 pm 08/12
 
 
Bloggies Of Our Lives
Season One
Season Two
Season Three
Special Guest Episodes
 
Ferkakta
Ferkakta Timeshare Presentation
Postcard from Ferkakta
Ferkakta Is Open For Business
Lord of the Banned: An Epic Trilogy In Three Parts

Ferkakta Games
Codename:Ferkakta Hill
Ferkakta By Night
Shipwrecked
House
 
vital signs
Circulation
last 15 minutes:26
last hour:51
last 24 hours:486
Comments
since midnight:0
last 24 hours:0
in our lifetime:6500