What's worse than advertising? Innovative advertising with fresh new ways to invade my peace and quiet and blare its commercial come-ons.
Thanks to CourtTV, you won't be able to browse a bookstore's shelves in silent contemplation any more. Because as soon as you're in front of a shelf that happens to have CourtTV's murder mystery books, you're going to hear an obnoxious 30-second pitch that only you
can hear, and only as long as you're in front of it. It goes like this:
“Hey you, over here, don’t turn around. Do you hear me? Do you ever think about murder? Committing the ultimate crime? I do. All the time. I get paid to think about it. I’m a best selling crime writer. Watch me and other masters of crime fiction....”
They're running these ads in Barnes and Nobles. I guess I'll shop exclusively at Borders or Amazon.com, then. Or maybe I'll go to Barnes and Noble and make a scene when the voices start in on me. I like making scenes.
Look, you advertising worms. I agree that this is a clever idea. Just because it's clever doesn't mean it must be done! Stop trying to immanentize the eschaton. Okay? Just stop it. Thanks for ruining bookstores, you pricks.
What's next, ads in church?
I hate you all and I hope you are murdered by some paranoid schizo whose voices went into overdrive after your clever idea drove him over the edge. Hey, that would be a great idea for a murder mystery...
via Robert Bove at the Iconoclast.