discarded lies: monday, june 26, 2017 10:02 pm zst
You're the schlager in my gold flakes
daily archive: 08/29/2005
guest author: anonymous in Bloggies Of Our Lives:
zorkie and ev's Ragtime Band
Diplomat extraordinaire Rodney King has managed to unite the BOOL 2 stars with their understudies to form zorkie and ev's Rag Time Band just in the nick of time for the big premiere.

Jefe (Maestro *and* first chair fiddle) -Aridog, we already voted, all the men wear kilts!

Aridog (Triangle) -Look, I'm already playing an instrument that goes "tinkle"...I'm not wearing a kilt!

Marine Momma (Flugelhorn) -We're having dessert after, right Sine?

Sine (Makeup) -Sure, Marine Momma...I'll just run over to the diner and whip up a little something. (Hmmmph, all these picky eaters too, and I'm Makeup...I don't want to multi-task). texanista! I need you over here right now!

texanista (Caterer) -Texas Bar-B-Que for a cast of thousands? AND CHOCOLATE CAKE? Today? Why, I oughta....

RayH -And stinky cheese, don't forget the stinky cheese!

Travis (Nose flute) -They like me, they really, really like me!

RC neo-Jew (banjo) -I know a little bluegrass, guys! European bluegrass! Uh, don't mention it to bigel though.

Earl (Trombone) And just how am I supposed to play bluegrass on a trombone? Jefffeeee!

Frank IBC (casaba) - This instrument is also known as the balaphone - a merimba made with casaba gourds and wooden keys struck with tire-rubber-tipped mallets. The mountainous and forested Guinea is the province of the balaphone...

Lewis (Clavicord) -zorkie, my dog plays the butt trumpet. Can he have a part?

TalkinKamel (Kazoo) -All the blood is rushing to my head, hellllp!

Lyana (Harp) -I'm sorry to take an extra chair Jefe, but I need my anchovies close to me, *slurp*.

Ed Mahmoud (alto sax) -Those *are* real breasts. Fake breasts don't splay out like that.

militarybrat (Kettle Drum) -Why are DL men so obsessed with boobs? Will this be televised?

RadioMattM (Tuning Fork) -You're asking me? You know I only do radio.

Q (Crash cymbals) -Speaking of S&M, I hear German girls like it...

packen (Tambourine) -Q! Less smut, more music! Practice, man!

Beagle (Cow bell) -I'm tired of practicing packen. I think I'd enjoy more smut.

Aisha (Wardrobe) -The ladies must wear hijab! Playing without hijab is Haraam! Aisha should know, infidels!

semite5000 (Didgeridoo) -$5000 is what they are going to have to pay me if I agree to this...

throbert (Mouth organ) -This band is *definitely* not ready for primetime! They've managed to put Rugby and Soccer off their favorite foods. They have even quit sleeping on Portia's red fishnets.

Portia (Bass fiddle) -And they expect me to play this thing with a sword in my hand? Ppppffffffft!

annie (Spoons) -How the heck do I play these Jefe? Why do I get utensils and everyone else gets an instument?

lawhawk (Second chair violin/Stage manager) -Second chair, huh? Just wait until I reach that rat-bastard agent of mine.

BigSmoke88 (Flute) -I can't believe I'm taking part in this travesty either, semite5000.

cba (Glockenspiel) -C'mon you mixers! A one and a two and a...

Dances With Typos (Bouzouki) -I just *knew* they would assign me an instrument that is tricky to spell!

monkeyweather (1st chair washboard) -It's easy DWT! B-O-O-Z-O-O-C-K-Y. Like getting scared in a zoo! Just sound it out! Yay!

zorkie (Zither) LOL!! psst, ev, let's sneak out and get a little PS2 time in...

ev (Accordion) -OK zorkie mou, but first can you move a little, I'm losing feeling in my thighs...

Mauro (Head roadie) zorkmidden! Bella mio! You are more than welcome to sit by me for awhile, rsrsrsrs!

texanista (Virginal) -Virginal? WOOHOO!!

longwhitecloud (Tour director) -Opening night is slated for New Zealand. Now..I know a fabulous B&B...

bigel (Gong) -I'm only playing in the USofA! Sheesh, the things I have to put up with.

DaveRay (English horn) -bigel, you don't know what you're talking about. Why, when I move to New Jersey...

AM42 (2nd chair washboard) -Get along you two or I'll post another picture of Theodore Tug! That is, if Frank hasn't already lifted it...

Fay (Wurlitzer organ) -Oy! You do that AM42, I will be forced to post a picture of Picnic Table Woman!

papijoe (Ukelele) -That's OK with me Fay, but no genitals...

RIP Ford (Slide Guitar) -What have I done, telling all these kvetchers how to use Photobucket? I've opened a Pandora's Box!

Thousand Sons (Tuba) -Heh heh, too late now my man. They are unleashed into the inky depths of the Crab Nebula, never to be put back again...KHAAAAN!!

jlfintx (Concertina) -Well, he didn't show me how to post them! Fay!!

roya (Harpsichord) -I have pictures too, Fay. Please give me an hour or two to go back to my blog and find them. Thank you.

floranista (Booking agent) -That's one ringy dingy...That's 2 ringy dingys...

Stormi (Bagpipes) -Cam!

Cam (Beer bottle) -Stormah!

KianB (Dutch traverso) -Heh, I knew they would have a big part for me, dude! (Dutch traverso, WTH?!?)

lady redhawk (Tin whistle) -I love the tin whistle, but this Southern Belle ain't too crazy about wearing a used beige tutu that's been on Parson's head and who knows where else! Lah-di-dah!

gutterfiend (Scenery) -I know what you mean lady redhawk. Can you believe they gave me an Etch-a-Sketch for the scenery?

parson (Psaltery) -Oh my, this could get out of hand...DLers, open your hymnals to page 312, we will sing all 7 verses...

Jauhara (1st Soprano) -At last! A starring role!

FloridaHeat (Castanets) -I do a mean flamenco! Someone finally assigned an appropriate instrument...

Albertanator (Marimba) -No dancing! Unless I get to perform the "Funky Chicken", that is...

Michael (Nehiloth) -Hey! I said I wasn't going to be in BOOL2 let alone this band! This is lame. Although my instrument is kind of cool...

Pete (Alois) (Finger cymbals) -Cmon Michael, it'll be fun! Yeah, that's the ticket!

Smug Monkey (Props) -Props? What kind of job is that? Props? I'd rather play the virginal...

Spiny Norman (Advertising) -Our posters won't be ready until tomorrow? And to think I left LGF for this gig.

Sojourner (Bass fiddle) -TS lovie, help me move this thing, it weighs a ton...HAH!! LAST!!
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zorkmidden in Discarded Lies:
Women In Science
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zorkmidden in Discarded Lies:
9/11 Museum
September 11 museum plans 'graphic' depiction of attacks. If by "graphic" they mean the reality of death and destruction that the television stations refused to show as to not offend viewers, then good for them.
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zorkmidden in Discarded Lies:
A Travesty of Justice
Two miles from the border with Mexico, U.S. citizen Casey Nethercott's dream ranch is now the property of Edwin Alfredo Mancia Gonzales and Fatima del Socorro Leiva Medina, both illegal immigrants from El Salvador.

And Nethercott didn't sell it to them. They took it by force, after trespassing on it to sneak into the U.S.
Read it all, it's an outrage: Gaza in Arizona
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zorkmidden in Discarded Lies:
For The British, It's All About F***ing
Go on, read it. You know you want to.
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evariste in Discarded Lies:
Tunis introduces Mosque IDs
Tunis introduced mandatory ID cards for anyone wishing to visit a mosque. I don't think it's much of an idea unless you already have a totalitarian state-in places like Italy, France and even the US a large number of mosques are completely underground affairs-but I find it very funny how outraged "Jihad Unspun" is about it.
When JUS received this news report, we didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The absurdity of making Muslims bear ID cards to enter a mosque for prayers is beyond comprehension. Who was it that said this war is not against Islam?

The government of Tunisia has become a pioneer in innovative approaches to security. They have recently unveiled their latest invention to enhance security (of the apostate government, of course). Such an invention did not seem to have crossed the minds of the most powerful and resourceful security apparatuses in America, U.K., Russia, or even the Mossad. According to Al-Hadi Mehanna, Tunisia’s new interior minister, any one wish to pray in a Mosque will have to apply and obtain a personal magnetic card. The minister continued by saying: This is part of the national policy adopted by the man who is leading the way of “changes for the better" (he means the president) - and this is done to regulate praying in Mosques, preventing rowdiness, and eliminating chaos.

Here are the steps that must be followed by all parties involved:

1. Various local ministry offices will process applications and issue a picture magnetic card to each applicant. The card will identify the applicant, which Mosque is he to use for prayers (the nearest to his house). If the nearest Mosque happens not to be one of the Mosques designated for Friday prayers, the individual must submit a separate application for a second card to be used for Friday prayers.

2. The Imam of each and every Mosque must verify that each person inside the Mosque is in possession of a valid card authorizing him to perform his prayers in that Mosque. Any person fails to produce a valid magnetic card or caught attempting to pray in Mosque that is different from his assigned Mosque must be expelled by the Imam.

3. The new ID card is personal and cannot be used by or assigned to any person other than the person the card was issued to.

4. Should the owner of a card decide he no longer wishes to pray he must surrender his card to the nearest police station.

5. All visitors to Tunisia who anticipate performing prayers in the country should obtain their magnetic cards at the border. Tourist magnetic cards are valid for all Mosques across the country.

6. All Mosques will be fitted with magnetic card reader machines to record attendance. Each praying person must check in and out each time he attends his designated Mosque.

7. Records of attendance must be collected by the Imam of each Mosque and handed over to the local authority once each month.

It is worth mentioning that a Jew can travel to Tunisia and visit any place of worship any time without any ID card. Foreign Tourists can also visit Mosques any time not only without a card but without a specific dress code either.
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zorkmidden in Discarded Lies:
Gaza: What Now?
Leora Addison says that it's now up to the international community to turn Gaza into a success story, politically and financially.
A prosperous Gaza would be a significant first step in treating the current ills that face these two beleaguered societies. For the Palestinians, at the very least, a successful Gaza experiment will give the Gazans economic and political stability and highly improved living conditions.

For the Israelis, an internationally-supported, stable Gaza would allow Israel time to heal and would prove to the society that its sacrifice was not in vain.
I agree that a stable and prosperous Gaza is in everyone's best interest but I would like to add that it's the Palestinian community that needs to take the initiative to achieve these goals, the responsibility cannot lie with the international community alone. And I wonder what does Ms Addison propose that Israel and the international community do about Hamas, Islamic Jihad and all those lovely people who prefer war to stability and prosperity.

All eyes on Gaza
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