discarded lies: monday, april 23, 2018 4:14 pm zst
end-times boot camp
daily archive: 07/26/2007
guest author: swj719 in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: evariste in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: evariste in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: zorkie ran over her hippo limit in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: zorkmidden in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: zorkmidden in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Scott Thomas Gleeson in Discarded Lies:
Storm Troopers
"Scott Thomas Gleeson" is a pseudonym for a typical American soldier currently serving at His Majesty's pleasure in Iraq. To corroborate the facts, we sent it to crackerjack reporters at The New Republic, and asked them how it smelled. "Mmmmm," they said, adding, "Like freeze-dried chives."

It was a dark and stormy Baghdad night. There is a section of this city we wise-cracking infantrymen refer to as "Fruitcake Heights," because of all the human entrails constantly falling from rooftops. At least they think they're human. They don't taste like chicken, I'll tell you what.

My tactical battalion group had just finished dog-slicing detail in the outpost perimeter, when one of the guys, who had a reputation as something of a crank-yanker, took off his ACU pants, revealing his tan underwear. We thought it was only mildly amusing, until he told us to look closer, to reveal that his underwear was not made of cloth, but hundreds of Iraqi heart valves, stitched together. It was nice needlework, even had a Y-front fly.

"When did you find the time to make that?" I asked, giggling like a man waking from a nightmare on Christmas Eve, or like a crazy person.

We all laughed, even though it was not funny, under that scorching foreign sun, because, even though nobody would admit it in so many words, our very souls had been violently ripped from our very lives, like empty MRE's, when we volunteered to kill people. Kill people. Kill people, I kept repeating, silently.

Or I thought it was silently. "What's that? Kill people? Ha!" said somebody. "Man, you're crazy! Although, typical of American soldiers!"

On Fridays, the locals -- or "inferior foreign heathens," as we joshingly call them -- attend their prayer services. That's when the pranksters in my platoon like to sneak into the mosque and climb to the top of the minaret, and shoot Patriot missiles at goats. We hit this one goat, must have been eight miles away, right square between the horns, splitting it in half, like a cross-section diagram at the butcher shop, with the various cuts and shanks labeled for the purchaser.

"An apt metaphor indeed, for are we not all here to render the butcher's bill?" said somebody. I wondered how would he know I was thinking of the butcher diagram thing. I decided I must have spoken that thought out loud.

"Either that, or nobody said anything!" he said. We all laughed and laughed, in a grim humorless way, until the tears of joylessness streamed down our cheeks, our tender cheeks. None of us like Dick Cheney, not one little bit.

It was stormy the next day, too, only this time it was a sandstorm. We call them "sand storms" because they're like storms, but instead of water, it's sand falling. And we laugh and laugh.

Our sergeant had put us on "upskirt patrol," going into the market and lifting the dresses of female civilians, and give them Bibles. The blowing sand made it difficult to see under the skirts, so instead we just shot everybody with our M-60 Glocks. Sometimes I wonder whether they'll ever make another sequel to The Matrix. That would be cool. Do you like walnuts?

That bruise on my eye went away. Oh no, wait it's still there, I was looking at the wrong eye. If I could be in Lord of the Rings, I would be an Orc. What time is it? Is this 600 words yet? "Not yet! Crazy!" We laughed harder than ever, and then we ate chow and then went to get some rackspace, to prepare for another typical day.
no comments yet
guest author: zorkmidden in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: V the K in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: zorkmidden in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Matt in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Sean Gleeson in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: evariste in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: WarBicycle in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Jourdan in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Sean Gleeson in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: evariste in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: V the K in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: V the K in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Frank IBC in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: annie in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Beth Greem, ROTC in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
18 commentsPeter left a comment at 1:05 am 04/22
sarah william, Tom, Packers and Movers in Gurgaon | Movers and Packers Gurgaon, Ozil, Albert, Office Com Setup, NORTON SETUP, Qock, mcm belt cheap, Joseph, and brawn strom have also commented
guest author: RC neo-Jew in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yetPeter left a comment at 1:05 am 04/22
sarah william, Tom, Packers and Movers in Gurgaon | Movers and Packers Gurgaon, Ozil, Albert, Office Com Setup, NORTON SETUP, Qock, mcm belt cheap, Joseph, and brawn strom have also commented
guest author: Frank IBC in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yetPeter left a comment at 1:05 am 04/22
sarah william, Tom, Packers and Movers in Gurgaon | Movers and Packers Gurgaon, Ozil, Albert, Office Com Setup, NORTON SETUP, Qock, mcm belt cheap, Joseph, and brawn strom have also commented
guest author: skoi in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yetPeter left a comment at 1:05 am 04/22
sarah william, Tom, Packers and Movers in Gurgaon | Movers and Packers Gurgaon, Ozil, Albert, Office Com Setup, NORTON SETUP, Qock, mcm belt cheap, Joseph, and brawn strom have also commented
search & handy links
threads you've been on
linkopotamia
hot threads today
by our guest authors
hippocampus
day-by-day archives
category archives
link lists
colophon
 
recent comments:
pioneerseo
Good to become visiting your weblog again, it has been months for me. Nicely this article that i've been waited
Robinjack
The guidelines you provided allow me to share extremely precious. It been found this kind of pleasurable surprise to obtain
Robinjack
Thank you for every other excellent article. Where else could anybody get that type of info in such an ideal
Robinjack
After study several of the content on the internet site now, and that i genuinely much like your method of
Alex
Wow! This could be one particular of the most helpful blogs We’ve ever arrive across on this subject. Basically Excellent.
miceunai
On Friday night, I was reading my new book, but my brain got tired, so I decided to watch some
mcafee
Just feel free to contact anytime if you face any issue with McAfee Activation by visiting our website or just
Sassi Sasso
Collagen drink is the most important protein for our body. It is found in muscles, blood vessels, bones, skin, digestive
Robinjack
I’m impressed, I have to admit. Genuinely rarely must i encounter a weblog that’s both educative and entertaining, and without
h b
Took me time to read all of the comments, but I absolutely loved the item. It proved to be Very
Robinjack
Valuable information. Fortunate me I found your website by chance, and I am surprised why this twist of fate did
Robinjack
magnificent post, very informative. I wonder why the other experts of this sector do not notice this. You should continue
Robinjack
you’ve a fantastic blog right here! would you wish to make some invite posts on my blog? [ sarkari naukri
Robinjack
you’ve a fantastic blog right here! would you wish to make some invite posts on my blog? [ sarkari naukri
Robinjack
you’ve a fantastic blog right here! would you wish to make some invite posts on my blog? [ sarkari naukri
pioneerseo
My Essay Writer is the go-to source for the completion of academic assignments. If you are screaming out “Write my
Danass
Here is nothing for us. Because we know that when ever we leave here some important data that time someone
Demarcus Jaidyn
Your site is truly cool and this is an incredible rousing article. [ شقق للبيع في اسطنبول ]/
Demarcus Jaidyn
These articles and blogs are genuinely sufficiency for me for a day. [ عقارات في اسطنبول ]/
Robinjack
Awesome read. I just passed this onto a buddy who was doing a little research on that. He just bought
 
the hyperlinkopotamus:
frp
mcafee left a comment at 2:32 am 04/23
Kylan Morales left a comment at 7:36 pm 04/21
kritika is also here
 
 
Bloggies Of Our Lives
Season One
Season Two
Season Three
Special Guest Episodes
 
Ferkakta
Ferkakta Timeshare Presentation
Postcard from Ferkakta
Ferkakta Is Open For Business
Lord of the Banned: An Epic Trilogy In Three Parts

Ferkakta Games
Codename:Ferkakta Hill
Ferkakta By Night
Shipwrecked
House
 
vital signs
Circulation
last 15 minutes:0
last hour:0
last 24 hours:1
Comments
since midnight:8
last 24 hours:11
in our lifetime:13363