UPDATE - 6:30 pm zst: An updated version of FAQ! is now posted in the left sidebar under bloggie's vital statistics.
Good morning comrades! No quizzes today, we have a terribly serious and important matter to discuss. After much procrastination, we finally wrote all the bloggie questions and answers we could think of. Now it's up to you: please add what you think our present and future comrades should know. How do I upload images?
Ask RIP Ford or aridog. And ask nicely!Will you put my blog on your blogroll?
It depends. Do you have bloggie on your
blogroll? And don't lie to us, 'cause we will
check your ass! If you do, then probably yes. If you don't, we'll have to consult our horoscopes and if they coincide we'll consider it.Sorry to go OT...
Don't apologize for going OT. Apologize for apologizing for going OT, or ideally, don't apologize in the first place.The quick reply thingie is making me nervous. I can't post without easy access to emoticons! What if I only have one eye and I'm sticking my tongue out, or my face turned blue and I'm rolling my eyes, how can you tell? The people must know!
You don't have to use it! Click the post headline to use the regular comment box.Where's my hat tip?
We don't give hat tips because usually we're not wearing a hat. We do give alcohol, usually thimblefuls of cognac, because we're usually drinking cognac. What does "rubbing the lamp" mean?
That's how evil, malicious, graduate-student spirits are summoned, people whisper some terrible name on bloggie and Holy Google hears it and rubs the lamp and then bloggie goes all dark and then stinky, horrible entities appear! So... don't rub the friggin' lamp!Gasp! I won't, I promise! Oh my goodness, what other terrible secrets does DL have?!
Titles. You can put titles in the emoticons and voilà, an instant secret message that only you and the rest of the world can read.Er...okay... So how do I do that?
Pick an emoticon. See where it says title="your text here"? Put your text there, inside the quotes. There. Now you're one of us.I have an emoticon I'd like to add to the smiley picker.
Ah, that's very cute, Calvin peeing on a Ford logo. Sure! Email it to us and we'll add it.Why was my comment held for moderation?
You posted on an old thread. It'll be approved when we wake up, hold your horses.There's a skull next to my comment! In the sidebar!
Okay, first of all don't panic! Take a deep breath... It's okay, see? You just posted on an old thread, that's all. You don't want a skull next to you, don't post on an old thread. Okay? Okay.I posted on a new thread and my comment was still held for moderation!
Yeah? You said a bad word in your comment, didn't you?
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
Did you snigger?!
Er... well... cba did it first!
If cba jumped off a bridge, would you do that too? Quit sniggering!Er... excuse me, my comment is held for moderation again...
Sigh... did you put too many links in there?
I said it'll be approved when we wake up! Good grief!Your rotating titles make no sense!
Is this a question? 'Cause it doesn't sound like a question!Why does bloggie look funny?
It's your resolution and your browser and your text size and your fault! There's nothing wrong with bloggie! Nothing!Why don't you ban these totally obnoxious people?
Well see, we believe that - ah, screw it...
We just don't, ok?Who's Fred?
Good question!Hey, you're publishing posts but you're not answering comments, what's up with that?
We schedule our posts and they publish automatically, bloggie's totally high tech. If we're not in the comments, we're not around.Why didn't my link post to the hyper...potamusthingy?
You either switched the link and description, or you pasted a link that didn't start in http://. Or you gave the hyperlinkopotamus indigestion.How do I say it, anyway?
What, cat got your tongue? Sheesh! It's so easy! Hyperlinkopotamus! You can say "the hippo" if you like. Why does it say "unsigned" but everyone else's hippo link is signed with their nickname?
The hippo simply reads your comment name cookie. If you want your link to be credited to you, you need to load a thread and type your name into the Name: box. You don't need to actually post a comment; our code writes your cookie While-U-Type. So just type your nickname in, then scroll up to the hippo and feed him.How can I feed the hippo anonymously? I'm too embarrassed to post this as myself.
Just load any thread and delete your name. It will post as "unsigned". Does bloggie really love me? (Me, personally?)
Yes. It's a stage bloggie's going through, it loves everyone. We apologize for the leg-humping.Can I have a soccer ball like ev & zorkie?
Oh, all right...I mean NO!Can I have anything?
One day when we get registration, we'll let you have your pick of several icons. Yay! So whe-
But the soccer ball is for ev & zorkie only.Aww...
Next question.Can I write a guest post?
Glad you asked! Yes! Read this
then email your writing here.You guys are so awesome. I want to give you money. Where is the tip jar?
Uh, zorkie? Have you seen the tip jar? No? Oh, I broke it? Hmm, my pockets are full. Uh...slip it in zorkie's bra. But don't cop a feel or you're dead!Can you help me find this post you did...?
No! Use Google or the bloggie search box. We can never find anything in this place because of all the dirty socks, empty cognac bottles and crumpled-up typewriter pages.You blog on a typewriter?