discarded lies: thursday, april 26, 2018 7:01 am zst
woe is we
daily archive: 04/11/2009
guest author: joem in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: airforcewife in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: monkeyweather in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: The Big Feed in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: solus rex in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: bigel in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: MartinG in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
zorkmidden in Discarded Lies:
An Admission of Infidelity
I feel pretty terrible and mixed-up right now. I feel sad yet I feel strangely happy. I want to cry but then I happen upon something new and wonderful and I can't help but laugh. I'm sure many of you will think "aha, mental illness, I knew it was coming" but the truth is that I'm in love. I haven't been in love like this for a very long time and the last time it happened I felt very strange and conflicted: I fell in love with a foreigner from Norway but our cultures clashed. You know how White People From The North always feel superior and stuff? It was like that with us too.

I stayed in that relationship for a little over four years. Okay, to be honest, I'm still in that relationship but I'm cheating, and I'm cheating a lot: we spend an hour or so together, upstairs, before I go to sleep, but the rest of my day...Well, the rest of my day I'm spending with my new, foxy paramour. He looks exactly like my Norwegian paramour except he's American (of mixed race), he's cosmopolitan, he's popular, he's well-traveled--he's practically global one could say--and he charmed me enough to want a divorce from the Norwegian.

There's a reason that all this happened, of course, and it's the fault of some woman from Arkansas, named Lady Red (I will not disclose her personal information in public, but it is available to the court in case the Norwegian wants alimony and sues me.) The American and I met because I called him one day to help me clean some Hebrew graffiti that my useless Norwegian had been promising to clean up for ever and never did. The graffiti was on the walls of Lady Red's garage (it was nice graffiti, something like "I kick your butt!", but in Hebrew) and she offered to clean it herself but really, it was man's work and she's too delicate for such things. So anyway, that's how the American and I met. And that's how the love affair began.

First he cleaned the graffiti, in like, immediately and without making a fuss. He's very polite, he doesn't speak down to me and best of all, he doesn't have a thick Norwegian accent. Don't get me wrong, I find Norwegian accents sexy and attractive but they are hard to understand and sometimes, after a drink or two, both our accents got so difficult to understand that we would both cry. But no more crying over thick accents because the American doesn't have an accent although he's very popular in Europe and spends a lot of his time there and says cute things like "courgette" instead of "zucchini". Isn't that adorable? Not to mention that he opens doors and shoos away all pests and annoyances so I can just smell the rose petals that little Indian slave children spread on the floor for me as I walk by. I wake up every morning happy and excited that we'll spend the day together but I still feel a little guilty thinking of the Norwegian. But not too guilty because I've made my decision: I'm staying with the American.

The only question now is how to tell Bloggie. I've been thinking about this a lot the last few days, I don't want to hurt Bloggie's feelings and betray its innocent child's trust. Bloggies are very tender at this age and it's highly possible that it will think I've gone over to the dark side and it will be upset and unhappy. But really, what else can I do but be honest? So, Bloggie, here's the news:

Opera is not your daddy anymore. Firefox is your new daddy!

P.S. I've already scheduled an appointment for Bloggie with the Ferkakta Therapist Group, we'll be attending the "Mommy, Why Do I Have So Many Daddies?" group session next Thursday. Wish us luck.
no comments yet
guest author: evariste in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: evariste in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: jaujau in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Rune in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: lady red גברת אדומה in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Shimshon in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: bigel in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: lady red גברת אדומה in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: airforcewife in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: lady red גברת אדומה in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: Dances With Typos in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: סטרמי Stormi in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
guest author: lewy14 in Discarded Lies - Hyperlinkopotamus:
no comments yet
search & handy links
threads you've been on
linkopotamia
hot threads today
by our guest authors
hippocampus
day-by-day archives
category archives
link lists
colophon
 
recent comments:
Norton Setup
We give Norton Setup-Norton for present/invigorate, Configure Norton Antivirus in Laptop, Desktop by Norton Customer Support Team. http://nortoncomsetup-nortonsetup.com
instagram
Yes i am totally agreed with this article and i just want say that this article is very nice and
Norton Setup
Our Norton Setup Support team is always available to help client round the clock. We are a third party company
office setup
Office-officecomsetup-introduce mind staff are Office-officecomsetup-introduce Certified Technicians however don't all things considered hold any affirmations from any outcast unless expressly
techraz
supper articls
Robinjack
it was a magnificent opportunity to visit this sort of site and I am upbeat to know. much thanks to
JeremyWhite
This is really the brilliant results! If you have nice writing skills, I recommend you to start writing content like
JeremyWhite
This is very useful information for the educators and students. You know my audience at [ http://www.pommietravels.com/travel-tips-for-a-student-budget/ ]/ is students.
techserviceuss
Besides, Skype likewise offers a wealthier method of correspondence, empowering organizations, little or huge, to hold telephone calls and offer
5 best spiralizer
Thank you so much for the detailed information. [ 5 best spiralizer 2018 ]/
Hadley Evans
An activity of the factor is observed under the guidance of the things for all people. The activity has been
Robinjack
Hey. Neat article. There is a problem with your web site in chrome, and you may want to check this…
Robinjack
The extremely nice thing with regards to the The best Commenters widget created into the NoFollow Cost-free plugin would be
Robinjack
Im not startled by the market growth of eReaders considering the new players in the market. Once, the Sony Book
Robinjack
Well, this Thursday I read through a couple of your posts. I must say this is one of your better
Robinjack
I had been wondering should anyone ever considered changing design of the blog? Its perfectly written. I enjoy what youve
Matthew Jensen
It is a great opportunity for students who want to do this course. There are many students who are seeking
linker seo
We cover all the necessary services to bring you from a business concept idea to a concrete successful Initial Coin
linker seo
We promote cryptocurrency with cost-effective digital marketing services for blockchain companies that are running in pre and post ICO. The
سالیدورک
A very awesome blog post. We are really grateful for your blog post. You will find a lot of approaches
 
the hyperlinkopotamus:
kritika left a comment at 9:21 am 04/25
Ankit Kumar left a comment at 9:16 am 04/24
 
 
Bloggies Of Our Lives
Season One
Season Two
Season Three
Special Guest Episodes
 
Ferkakta
Ferkakta Timeshare Presentation
Postcard from Ferkakta
Ferkakta Is Open For Business
Lord of the Banned: An Epic Trilogy In Three Parts

Ferkakta Games
Codename:Ferkakta Hill
Ferkakta By Night
Shipwrecked
House
 
vital signs
Circulation
last 15 minutes:0
last hour:0
last 24 hours:0
Comments
since midnight:0
last 24 hours:39
in our lifetime:13503