discarded lies: friday, september 22, 2017 5:54 am zst
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daily archive: 04/11/2007
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zorkmidden in Discarded Lies:
The Age of Insufficient Online Cinema
Do you ever feel the urgent need to see some favourite movie? I was trying to sleep the other night and I was trying to think of some movie that would relax me and I thought of The Age of Innocence. I know it's not a masterpiece, I just wanted something 19th-century, big-skirts, mean-morals movie to help me relax as I thought how good I have it in the 21st century and eventually go to sleep. And besides, it's a Scorsese film.

Well, I brought a few of the film's scenes in my mind (mainly the set about New York at the time) and that led me to thinking of Washington Square, another period film, with a fantastic performance by Maggie Smith and an unforgettably horrid dress that the protagonist wore to a ball.

So after thinking of those two films for a couple of nights, I thought how nice it would be to see them again. I went to the video store and looked in the Drama section. They weren't there. So I asked the clerk and after looking at her computer she informed me that they have "Washington Heights" but they don't carry "Washington Square." "What about 'The Age of Innocense'", I ask. They don't carry it. "But it's Scorsese!" I yell. The clerk smiled politely. Seeing how she looked young and inexperienced, I asked the other clerk to look up the movies. Indeed, they didn't carry them anymore. I apologized for making them look twice, silently swore I'd never set foot there again (I've seen all their movies anyway) and went to another video store. They too didn't carry either movie.

Scorsese! They don't carry you! Dame Smith! You're not worth a space on the video store shelf!

I am sickened by this. Sickened. Scorsese!

Anyway, my dear friends immediately tried to ease my suffering by pushing Netflix on me. Netflix doesn't work for me! Netflix works for regular movie people, people who will watch 1-2 movies a week. I don't watch movies regularly but when I do, I will rent a dozen of them and devote the next two days in watching movies. Why should I pay a monthly fee when I don't rent movies every month? And yes I know it averages out but I don't want to get three movies, send them back, wait till more arrive, watch those, send them back, wait again, I don't have the time for this! I want the movies I want to watch to be there and waiting for me anytime I want to watch them. If I think of a movie I want to watch now, I should be able to watch it now! I should not have to wait, I should not have to mail things back and forth and I should not have to pay monthly fees! I want to be the mistress of my fate!

So I started bitching to ev about how I am a person desperately ahead of my time and there isn't enough technology to suit my immediate-movie-gratification needs and how the internet needs an online cinema. As an internet consumer, I should have the right to pay a couple of bucks and watch any movie online, at any bloody time I please. He cleverly suggested that I try Amazon Unbox rentals.

So okay, so perhaps technology is catching up with my demands. But guess what?

That's right. They don't carry either movie.
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