discarded lies: saturday, march 24, 2018 2:01 pm zst
comrades, loukoumades, accolades!
daily archive: 02/17/2005
zorkmidden in Discarded Lies:
A Double Standard
Mary Kay Letourneau, 43, and her former sixth-grade student, Vili Fualaau, 22, are planning to marry in April. Letourneau was convicted in 1997 of statutory rape and served seven and a half years in prison for the crime.

"It's going to be fabulous seeing them get hitched finally," one of their friends told the Seattle paper. "It's long overdue."

Would he be saying that if a 33-year-old male sixth-grade teacher had raped and impregnated a 12-year-old girl?

(a thimbleful of cognac to loverofallotherhaters)
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evariste in Discarded Lies:
Surprising terrorist demographics
Understanding Terror Networks by Marc Sageman.
What do you find when you actually apply systematic data-gathering and evidence-based analysis to terrorists' curriculae vitae? Not what you might expect.
Marc Sageman, a newly appointed FPRI Senior Fellow, was a CIA case officer in Afghanistan between 1987-89 and is now a forensic psychiatrist. This essay is based on his FPRI BookTalk on October 6, 2004, which doubled as one of our regular Situation Reports on the War on Terrorism, held every two months. His book, Understanding Terror Networks, was published by the University of Pennsylvania Press earlier this year.

After leaving the CIA, I was happy in my naive belief that I had left all that behind me. But after 9-11, like everyone, I wanted to do something. What people were saying about the perpetrators shortly after the attacks was simply not consistent with my own experience. I began to apply the principles of evidence-based medicine to terrorism research, because there really was no data on the perpetrators. There were theories, opinions, and anecdotal evidence, but there was no systematic gathering of data.

I started gathering terrorist biographies from various sources, mostly from the records of trials. The trial that took place in New York in 2001 in connection with the 1998 embassy bombing, for instance, was 72 days long and had a wealth of information, 9,000 pages of it. I wanted to collect this information to test the conventional wisdom about terrorism. With some 400 biographies, all in a matrix, I began social-network analysis of this group.
Prepare to be somewhat astonished.
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sine in The People's Diner:
Food for a Long Weekend
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zorkmidden in Discarded Lies:
Humor and Christianity
I've never associated the Bible with humor. I've tried reading it but I'm ashamed to say I lost interest after the first few begats so maybe I never got to the funny parts. There is one bible passage I've come across that stuck with me but not because it was funny, I just thought it was beautiful. Anyway, back to the humor.
Humor in the Bible? Scholars say the Old and New Testament are riddled with humorous references and aim to set the record straight at a three-day congress beginning Monday, "Laughter and Comedy in Ancient Christianity."

There's the tale from Luke's Gospel of Zaccheus, a diminutive and despised tax collector who, eager to see Jesus at a busy gathering, is forced into the attention-grabbing indignity of scrambling up a tree.

Or the patriarch Isaac, whose name comes from the Hebrew word for laughter because of the joy and disbelief his birth brought to his aging parents, Abraham and Sarah.

These witticisms may not have modern readers rolling on the floor. But scholars of Christian literature and theology at a three-day conference in Turin on "Laughter and Comedy in Ancient Christianity" insist the Old and New Testaments are riddled with humor and clever wordplay.
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evariste in Discarded Lies:
The culture of death is metastasizing
How can these people make life and death decisions like that? When did it become legal for a hospital to deliberately kill a human being? Extrajudicially? Against the family's wishes? You won't be shocked to find out that this is happening in the beating heart of liberalism, Massachusetts. Hospital plans to remove patient from life support despite daughter's wishes (a thimbleful of cognac to Jefe).
BOSTON --Massachusetts General Hospital said it will take a 79-year-old woman off life support next week -- against the wishes of her daughter -- and this time a judge has declined to block the move.

Barbara Howe has advanced-stage amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, an incurable and degenerative muscle condition. She has been in a hospital bed on a ventilator since 1997. She cannot speak and can barely move, but remains mentally alert, says her daughter, Carol Carvitt.

"Her face lights up when you talk to her," Carvitt said. "I visit her four times a week, and my sister visits her every single day. You can see the eye move back and forth and her mouth starts moving."

The hospital went to court last year to get permission to remove Howe from life support, but probate court Judge John M. Smoot ruled in Carvitt's favor, barring the hospital from disconnecting her. But the judge also advised Carvitt to consider what was in her mother's best interest, not what she believed her mother would want.

Dr. Britain Nicholson, Mass. General's chief medical officer, said Wednesday that he ordered Howe taken off life support next week following an evaluation that determined her condition had worsened and she was suffering. He said he informed Carvitt with a phone call and a letter earlier this month.

Carvitt's lawyer, Gary Zalkin, went back to probate court seeking a temporary restraining order to stop the hospital from removing life support, but was turned down last week.

According to Zalkin, Smoot left Carvitt the option of renewing her motion after getting more information from the hospital. Zalkin said the family was reviewing its legal options.

"I'm devastated and I'm angry," Carvitt said. "Devastated because they're trying to terminate my mother's life. And angry because they're violating a court order."

The hospital said it plans no further legal action.

"This situation is very sad and enormously difficult for all those involved," the hospital said in a statement Thursday. "Everyone is focused on trying to do the right thing for Barbara Howe, but in this case, there are differing views about what the right thing is."
Who died and made Dr. Britain Nicholson God? Will the good doctor be euthanizing disabled babies next?
Remember this is a muscle disease. Barbara Howe is a living soul and mind, about to be brutally murdered (suffocated and her heart stopped) because an arrogant doctor thinks her life isn't worth living. I think his life isn't worth living.
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zorkmidden in Discarded Lies:
High Treason
We know how Fatah feels about "collaborators." Abbas continues the tradition:
In the first decision of its kind since he succeeded Yasser Arafat, Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas has ratified death sentences against three Palestinians found guilty of "collaboration" with Israel.

It is not clear when the three men, whose identities were not revealed, will be executed by firing squad.

However, senior PA officials told The Jerusalem Post that the three were Gaza Strip residents who had been convicted of "high treason" for tipping off Israeli security forces about the whereabouts of wanted gunmen.

Sakher Bsaisso, a senior Fatah official who also serves as PA governor of the northern Gaza Strip, confirmed on Wednesday that Abbas had authorized death sentences against three alleged "collaborators."
Read the rest of the article and an interview with a Palestinian "collaborator" after the jump.

(a thimbleful of cognac to semite5000)
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evariste in Discarded Lies:
Arabs start feeling hostility for Hezbollah?
This is from Dar Al Hayat in London.
Within two consecutive days, the Lebanese Hezbollah has denied two accusations. Baghdad has spoken about detaining 18 Hezbollah members who were participating in terrorist activities there. Palestinian officials have also said that President Mahmoud Abbas (aka Abu Mazen) has asked the Party to cease its support of Palestinian factions.

Hezbollah's denial's credibility was reduced by what Rome transmitted from Damascus. For the latter guaranteed to the Italians that it will intervene with the Party in order to prevent it from destroying the cease-fire between Sharon and Abbas in Sharm El-Sheikh.

Yet, the dual denial confirms two truths that are more important and influential than the Syrian pledge.

In fact, Iraq and Palestine both are part of Hezbollah's strategy in which each is connected to the other. Both are required not to calm or stabilize as long as the Golan Heights are occupied and as long as the nuclear problem between the U.S. and Iran is unresolved. Since political life in our region is fertile and in a continuous flow, it is easy to jump toward confrontation; for grand events occur on a daily basis and subsequently Hezbollah could choose victory of this or that event over stability.

The second truth is that Hezbollah, which does not seem to be concerned about the miserable Palestinian circumstances in Lebanon and does not seem to care about the desire of the majority of voters who are primarily Shiite in Iraq, is very keen on the liberation of Palestine and Iraq!

Such a policy could only raise more and more questions especially since it returns to the equation that was established since 1975 that says: Lebanon is the "platform" from which change is launched to the region, if not to the world! However, the exaggerated and bloated goal is in fact nothing more than a service to neighboring regimes that are despised by their peoples and whose assets in prolonging their authority are the military intelligence.

Undoubtedly, Syria has a rightful cause in the Golan Heights and that the American way of dealing with Iran whose nuclear program has not been confirmed is unfair if compared to the way North Korea, which declared its nuclear ownership, is dealt with. However, also undoubtedly, the Lebanese are not the bridge on which all just causes should pass. This is while the Lebanese, the Syrians, Iraqis, Palestinians and Iranians have other just and rightful causes which Hezbollah stands against in accordance to the position of the regimes that support it.

At least symbolically, it could be said that the existence of such a party in our region and its absence in Korea explains some of the reasons of the American unfair double-standards toward the Middle East as compared to the rest of the world. Yet, the brave step that was taken by Mahmoud Abbas, which is discharging officers who were responsible for challenging the truce, a step that Arafat would not have taken, demonstrates the increase of those who desire to end this unfair discrimination. The region is declaring today, although with a low voice and a stutter, that it wants normal life more than heroic causes that end up with booby-trapped cars and thick security files.
Hey, (kind of) clear thinking about Hezbollah in the Arab media! That's nice. Interesting that Hezbollah is sending people to Iraq. That's a rather roundabout way for Iran to send in the terrorists; kinda like scratching its ear behind its head with the wrong hand. Meddling in both Palestine and Iraq to destroy peace and spread mayhem, exporting revolution from its terror base in Lebanon: Iran is a major source of the Middle East's dysfunction and must be dealt with as soon as possible.
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evariste in Discarded Lies:
Proof that Libertarians are twerps
I don't fisk often, but consider this a fisking.

This was written by N. Joseph Potts and published by the Mises Institute: Paid to Fight, Paid More to Die. The Mises Institute should be ashamed to publish this under their aegis, and N. Joseph Potts should be ashamed of having written it.
Welfare/warfare states such as today's America are distinguished by the ever-tightening grip the collective exercises over the course of their citizens' lives, as the expression goes, from the cradle to the grave.
Yeah, yeah, welfare/warfare states. They never tire of saying it, they really think it's clever.
Such governments are also distinguished, of course, by their propensity to expend not only the interests and energies of their people in the pursuit of the goals of the governing class, but their very lives as well, as when hundreds of thousands of young men and women are put first in uniform and then in harm's way to fight wars and—win or lose—extend their masters' imperial reach at the cost of their blood.
You know, reading that you wouldn't guess that all of America's troops are volunteers. "hundreds of thousands of young men and women are put first in uniform and then in harm's way"-nice use of the passive voice to deceive. Oh, and I doubt any American soldier considers anyone his "master"; thank God N. Joseph Potts was around to condescend to America's finest young men and women.
The death toll, however, is harder to hide than the material waste and destruction, much of which is conveniently hidden in some distant part of the world where few American taxpayers venture in any case.
Because Americans are dumb and ignorant. If only they knew everything like I do, they'd be annoying Libertarians like me!
How, then, to mollify the complainers who point out the tragic, not to say pointless, loss of husbands, mothers, brothers and daughters?
I know what I want to do to this complainer, and it's not to mollify him, it's to slap him with the back of my hand for calling heroic sacrifice in the service of spreading freedom "pointless". America's mothers, wives, daughters and sisters thank you for your sensitivity. This is what "libertarianism" has become, a bunch of jackasses? Or was it always this bad and I just didn't see it when I was a young Libertarian?
An easy, direct way, it would seem, would be to give those surviving wives, fathers, sisters and sons money. Indeed, to quiet the American people in general about their senseless slaughter, just give them their own money back, taken in taxes, then selectively bestowed back again in death benefits.
Americans are stupid sheep and can be successfully shut up while their sons are led to the slaughter as long as they get money for it. Is this guy for real? Does anyone except Libertarians and Marxists think this way? Everything is not about money, Marxitarians.
The Bush Administration has seized this very idea and run with it in a proposal embedded in the 2006 budget package, mandating a payout of $250,000 to the beneficiary of every soldier, sailor, or airman who dies in any combat zone of the present or future, presenting to a grateful nation the prospect of a potentially endless bonanza of mortal heroism as America prosecutes its endless war to spread democracy.

Now, it won't just be Islamist suicide bombers whose families are limned and paid off for the death of their fighters—American warriors, too, will have a rather similar emolument, which for the economically disadvantaged families so overrepresented in the ranks of the armed forces may bulk quite as large economically as do those received by the survivors of their adversaries. If it works for Islam, maybe it will work for democracy as well.
Lord, I am so mad! The government offering peace of mind to soldiers that may get killed in the line of duty that their families will be taken care of is morally equivalent to this sophisticated Libertarian to people being paid bounties to kill themselves and take innocents with them. Let's review for simpletons and idiot Libertarians:
American soldierSuicide terrorist
Motive:liberty and justice, love of mankindreligious supremacism, spite and hatred
Means:killing terrorists and enemy soldiers; treating those who surrender or are wounded humanely; sparing the innocentmurdering, especially the innocent
Reason for payment on death:helping families cope with the loss of their primary breadwinner; easing soldiers' minds as to what will become of their families if they give their lives in battle; to reassure those that already serve that they will be taken care of (no one will sign up because there is a $250,000 death benefit)encouraging a culture of death and murder; purchasing the deaths of Jews
How clean is the money?:a grateful nation's elected, accountable leaders use tax money to help ease the hardship of families struck by combat fatalitiesforeign dictators and oil potentates pay-with money stolen from their nation's people and treasuries- the most desperate among a people kept in a strange, vicious form of Eloidom to slaughter innocent Jews in order to appear as big men
Aside from improving the outcome (for some) of a battlefield death, the payout would offer for economically disadvantaged families something resembling a lottery play. Admittedly, most recruits from such families would be likely to fail the entrance requirements for today's high-tech military, but for those families able to get a recruit into uniform, the prospect of coming into a quarter of a million all at once would arise where previously there had been no such prospect under any imaginable circumstances. Recruiters may expect increased flows, even if not of the very most desirable sort of candidates.
Yeah. For one thing, there's no problem with recruitment and his insinuation that the government is trying to up recruitment among the poor by bribing them is incredibly vicious and stupid. For another, the supreme insult to the poor that they're "not desirable" to our meritocratic, egalitarian military and that most are "likely to fail the entrance requirements" smacks of leftist condescension and contempt for the poor cloaked in concern for them. It's completely disgusting. As for it offering some families a "lottery play", yeah. Ask any person, rich or poor, if he or she would rather have their husband, wife, son, daughter, father or mother dead and $250, 000, or if they'd rather have them alive. With the exception of that monster Michael Schiavo of course. And, apparently, N. Joseph Potts, who I am very relieved not to be related to.
So, aside from quieting the survivors of our more valorous, or unluckier, fighters, do we want to provide greater rewards to those who are actually doing the work, while they are doing it? Many Americans do, even some of those who are troubled by increasing government spending for any purpose, let alone war.

But if Americans expressed this gratitude in the form of a simple pay raise, say in the amount of the premiums for $250,000 in life insurance for a person engaged in what certainly is a dangerous occupation, might that not benefit some of them a bit more, not to mention ascribing to them the wit to pursue their own best interests as they may see it themselves?
As usual a Libertarian wanders off into theory-land and ignores how actual human beings behave. Human beings are not rational actors. Human beings are not Libertarians. They never will be that perfect market being they're trying to turn us into, no matter how much they explain to us that it's more rational. Libertarians are stuck examining the bark and can't see the forest; that humans are tribal creatures; that we're animals; that we're social animals. That we're not his perfect market beings. If George W Bush passed a law raising every soldier's pay by the amount of a monthly life-insurance premium of $250000, most soldiers would spend it on other things. That is their right, of course. But the nation at large won't tolerate it when the first stories of families left destitute by the death of their breadwinner in the service of the country start trickling out; we'll be exactly where we were before, with a new government death benefit for soldiers, except that we'll have also given them a hefty raise.
It would cost the government no more to give servicepeople the additional choices that a pay raise in the amount of the premium would give, and it could increase their own enjoyment of the here and now in any way they choose, including buying the insurance to protect their dependants.

But ten minutes' experience with the welfare/warfare state will yield the instant understanding that this is moving in the wrong direction, from the government's point of view. Despite the fact that most servicemen and –women who serve in combat zones are of the younger sort, relatively few of whom as yet even have spouses, much less children, the US Government wants to make sure that this expenditure of its hard-extracted tax revenues goes to placate the bereft who, after all, still vote even after their loved ones have lost their franchise along with their lives.
Oh, ok, they're using this for the purpose of buying votes from bereaved families. If your son dies in an unjust war, N Joseph Potts thinks you'll still vote for the government because they gave you $250,000.
No, men and women in (and near) the trenches will have to find some deserving person in their families, or elsewhere, to name as their SGLI (Servicemen's Group Life Insurance) beneficiaries. In the navy, particularly, it isn't unusual to find that the beneficiary is a present or former shipmate with whom the insured formed bonds of close friendship. In other cases, it's a high-school sweetheart who the serviceman at least hopes is waiting patiently at home to marry Johnny when he or she comes marching home again.

All this, of course, merely proves that those who risk their lives in the service of the leviathan state in fact command no more regard among the governing class than do the millions of other subjects who remain behind the lines producing ammunition, paying taxes and, of course, raising up still more children to render unto Caesar. The valiant also must be controlled from their cradles to their graves. And beyond.
Can you believe the contempt? "the leviathan state", "the governing class" (last time I checked that would be...us), "the millions of subjects raising up still more children to render unto Caesar". Are insults and ill-thought-out comparisons the intellectual stock-in-trade of libertarianism now? Pity, there used to be real intellectual fire in the movement. Now it's a bunch of myopic pricks who can't see past their wallets and think America is, um, pick one: stupid, gullible, venal, sheeplike, subjects and not citizens...is this guy playing out of the Noam Chomsky playbook or something? This is indistinguishable from the fever swamps of Democratic Underground. Have Libertarians always had so much contempt for average Americans? If they have, no wonder they can't get elected dog-catcher.
I used to say I was a small-l libertarian, being vaguely disgusted with the Libertarian party's policies. But with the Republican party becoming a party of revolutionary liberation and President Bush advocating transformational policies that change the game, not the score-especially the "ownership society" initiative-I'm giving up saying I'm a small-l libertarian. That's the way to gradually increase the liberty in a society without screwing up a complex system. Ask Libertarians what they'd do if they had all the power. "Day 1: I would privatize all the roads. Day 2: I would fire the whole federal government except for 10 guys. Day 3: I would boil the ocean." Meanwhile, faced with a President who should be a libertarian's wet dream, boldly promoting a liberty-expanding agenda at home and abroad in the service of making men and women freer, more self-sufficient and giving them back their human dignity, all people like N Joseph Potts can do is anklebite and sneer. N Joseph Potts really did me a favor with this, though if I was more perceptive I'd have leapt off the sinking ship of libertarianism years ago.

I'm coming out of the closet: I'm a Republican now.
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guest author: Jim Russell in Discarded Lies:
The Sinking of Tuvalu
One of the real disappointments of expecting to not be around more than 10 to 20 years is the knowledge that I may never see the conclusion of the global warming debate.

It should be acknowledged though, that the recent fate of Dan Rather largely makes up for this.
"Our island is sinking together with our hearts," wrote Silafaga Lalua in Tuvalu News. . . .

Tuvalu is a remote island nation consisting of a fringe of atolls covering just 10 sq miles, with the highest point no more than 17 ft above sea level, but most a mere 6.5 ft.

Global warming from greenhouse gas pollution is regarded as the main reason for higher sea levels, now rising about 2mm (0.08 in) a year, which could swamp low-lying nations such as Tuvalu and the Maldives in the Indian Ocean if temperatures keep rising.

For the sake of argument, let's assume this "global warming" stuff is true. If the sea continues rising at 0.08 inch a year, that means Tuvalu will be mostly submerged in 975 years, and will disappear entirely in 2,550 years. So in the year 4555 we can expect to read headlines like: "Tuvalu Disappears, Bush to Blame."
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throbert in Channel Ж:


In Part I, we visited the Atheists for Jesus site, which works on the assumption that the earthly figure known as Jesus in the Christian Gospels -- we'll call him Gospel Jesus -- is based on a real 1st-century individual -- we'll call him Yeshua the Teacher, but with extravagant supernatural embellishments.

But other secular historians have analyzed Gospel Jesus from an entirely different direction, and arrived at the surprising conclusion that Yeshua the Teacher never existed. They claim that the idea of an earthly Jesus came along relatively late in Christianity's "infancy," and that the earliest Christians, including the epistle writer St. Paul, thought of Jesus as eternally existing "in the clouds, up in heaven" so to speak.

That is, they argue that Paul literally had no concept of a Yeshua the Teacher-like figure who had lived not long before Paul himself, held a job as a carpenter, gotten in trouble with the authorities, and who was eventually executes.

Rather, Paul thought about Jesus, the Last Supper, the Crucifixion, and the Resurrection in somewhat the same way that today's Christians might think about the Fall of Lucifer. No one -- at least, no mainstream Christian -- tries to calculate in miles or light-years the distance that Lucifer traveled when he was cast from Heaven into Hell. And no one says, "Oh, the Fall of Lucifer happened approximately 150 billion years before our time." It's understood, in Christian cosmology, that the Fall of Lucifer is an event that occurred on a "celestial plane" -- it simply can't be mapped onto our human notions of time and space.

So, the Mythical Jesus theorists argue that Paul and his contemporaries likewise saw Jesus Christ as existing on a "celestial" plane, and that events such as the Last Supper occurred in a celestial timeframe, not in normal human time and space, just a few decades prior.

So, if we grant for a second that the Mythic Jesus theorists are correct and that Paul really had in mind a "celestial" Jesus, you can easily imagine the confusion as Paul is giving one of his sermons:
Paul: "The Lord Jesus in the night in which He was betrayed took bread..."
Naive listener: "What kind of bread was it?"
2nd listener: "When was this Jesus guy born? My late grandfather was a baker; maybe Jesus bought the bread from him."
3rd listener: "Where did Jesus live? Can we visit his house?"
Paul: "No, you've missed the whole point of what I'm saying!"

Okay, having introduced you to the basic intellectual framework in which the Mythic Jesus theorists are operating -- and without prejudicing the readers for or against them in the process, I hope -- let's finally get to the flipping websites!

They both make similar arguments, but with different emphasis in each. For a quick but comprehensive overview, start by assembling Earl Doherty's Jesus Puzzle. (Here's Doherty's main page on the subject, but start with the "Jesus Puzzle" link, which takes you to a 12-point outline of his thesis.)

I first encountered Doherty's site a few years ago, but was reminded of it after finding Greg Kane's Pagan Origins of the Christ Myth.

Apollo Belvedere
Roman, marble, 2nd cent. AD
(prob. copy of BC Greek bronze)
Vatican Museum
Christ Carrying the Cross
Michelangelo, marble, 1521
Sta. Maria sopra Minerva, Rome

There is significant overlap between Doherty's site and Kane's, but as suggested by his site's title, Kane gives particular attention to other "Crucified" "Saviors" of the Middle East (yeah, scare quotes intended).

I guess at this point, I will break off and save my email exchanges with Kane for a Part III, so that readers will have some time to visit the two sites and digest the arguments.

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zorkmidden in Bloggies Of Our Lives:
Episode 301,434,750
Charles is playing his guitar menacingly. He glares out the window while he hits a C# and angrily strums a G immediately after it. Jefe had once again blown it. There's a mole in the Very-Very Secret Government Agency - even though registration had been implemented. The phone rings:

Charles: Yeah?

Charles: Pudding.

Charles: No, not tapioca.

Charles: Yeah, vanilla's fine.

Charles: I love you too, mom.

Meanwhile in Germany...

Stormi: Cam!

Cam: Stormah!

Stormi: Cam! Wazzup?

Cam: Wazzup Stormah?

Stormi: Hey Cam, wazzup?

Cam: Stormah!

Meanwhile somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean...

In a large airplane full of grumpy Europeans, two suspicious-looking characters are huddled in the economy class bathroom whispering to each other:

Pete (Alois): Aridog, I can't be going on this wild womanhunt, I have an appointment to go to the zoo.

Aridog: But Pete (Alois), I'm telling you, she's up to no good!

Pete (Alois): Oh come on Aridog, what's she gonna do? Buy Cuba?

Aridog: Yes!

Pete (Alois): Look... I can't put off the zoo trip, it's a matter of national security. Can you follow her and we'll meet later?

Aridog sighs dejectedly...How can he admit that he can't keep up with her? His knees aren't what they used to be and those bunions weren't helping either...On the other hand, if packen was left to her own ideas, an international crisis was sure to develop...

Aridog: Ok, let's meet back at Kosher Eucharist, I should know more by then...Now go out first and pretend you don't know me...

Pete (Alois): We're sitting right next to each other...

Aridog: Exactly! This is why we have to pretend!

Meanwhile in the barn:

Gustav: Achtung, Ali, do you remember our contact's name?

Ali: Oh, yes, I remember it vell, because it is very unique!

Gustav: Vell?

Ali: Oh Gustav, hold me!

Gustav: Ok, but vat is his name?

Ali: Gorda, Gordu, something like this...

Gustav: Ah, Jewish...

Meanwhile in Germany...

Stormi: Cam!

Cam: Stormah!

Stormi: Cam! Wazzup?

Cam: Wazzup Stormah?

Stormi: All right, get sober for a minute and listen...

Cam: Oh, come on, baby, don't do this to me!

Stormi: Listen, I got a secret message from Charles.

Cam: No! Charles hissself?

Stormi: Yes, now shut up and listen. I need your help.

Cam: All right, lemme get a beer...

To be continued...
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