A while back, Matt (Colt), who never fockin' blogs
any more, asked me how I thought an attack on Iran might go. I told him my lunatic theory, and he laughed at it, but I think it makes a lot of sense, and in the light of recent developments, I think it's worth throwing out there (in light of recent US deployments
that make an Iran attack seem imminent-F-117a Nighthawks and F-16C/D Wild Weasels are on their way to the area, which is pretty much all we need).
Matt wanted to know what my fantasy effective attack on Iran might look like. Here are my thoughts: the Iranians think their biggest weapon against us is the oil weapon. We must disabuse them of the notion that oil can be used effectively as a weapon against the United States. One of their trump-cards is the ability to block shipping through the Hormuz straits. We should bomb every installation they have near the Hormuz, overnight, to ensure that Saudi, Kuwaiti, and Iraqi oil can get through. I mean total devastation of anything that even looks like it might be a military asset aimed at denying shipping through that strait, especially the Silkworm missiles which they bought from the French. Destroy them from the air before the Iranians have a chance to use them. Two, and this one is a stretch. Not only should we keep the Straits of Hormuz accessible to friendly shipping: we should be bombing the living fuck out of Iran's oil infrastructure. All of it. Every single oil field should be put out of commission. Sherman's lessons have been forgotten, but we can recall them with a little effort.
The United States of America can afford for oil prices to go to exorbitant levels a lot more
than China and Europe can. Our economy is less and less brittle when it comes to fossil fuel prices, and we bounce back fast. We have the dynamism; we have the money. Americans can't really afford it for oil to go to $250 a barrel, but we can afford it a lot better than the Euros and the Chinese can, and we can sustain the damage for a lot longer. We can do this. It's time to really sacrifice in this war. The thing is, for each dollar we sacrifice, our friends in Europe and China will have to sacrifice a lot more than we. In game theory terms, we can win even though we're behaving seemingly suicidally. Let's let Iran, and every other shithole fossil-fuel nation, know that we are no longer intimidated by the oil weapon. We'll destroy it ourselves if need be. We Just. Don't. Give. A Fuck. And we can afford not to give a fuck a lot better than Iran's trading partners and enablers in Europe and China can. Iran can only afford its military and nuclear program because of oil. Let's take that away from them. As for Europe and China, let's show them what it really means to oppose the interests of the United States of America. And let's dip into that Strategic Petroleum Reserve, which can keep us moving for 120 days if the Iranians somehow manage to block Hormuz. And let's make Europe and China bear the cost of their complicity in nuclear proliferation. I'd rather pay $250/barrel oil for a year or two (and more importantly, make them
pay it) than lose NYC.
Our war is as much with the mullahs as it is with France, Germany and China. We have to bring them to heel, fast.
The final part of my Iran plan is for each and every ruling mullah's house to be bombed, preferably with him in it. For each and every Iranian nuclear scientist to be killed, because there is no such thing as neutral science, and any Islamic Revolution scientist must die for enabling the Iranian genocidal fantasy. The idea is that people like Saddam's Dr. Anthrax, what's-her-name, will not survive the first month of bombing, and if they do, they're targets for assassination for the rest of their lives. There have to be serious personal
disincentives for helping a shithead regime like Iran attain nuclear status. And for each and every nuclear installation to be bombed to oblivion. And for explicit US support of Iranian revolutionaries, including the Mujahideen e Khalq and the various student movements. We simply have to wage total don't-gives-a-fuck war. Half measures won't do.
Israel can't be involved in the Iranian action because she'll have her hands full dealing with Hezbollah, Syria and Hamas. We'll let them take care of that. So that's my war plan. No ground troops, just special forces, an air and sea war, total denial of all enemy assets. You got a better idea?