In which we blow your mind...with SCIENCE!
Thanks to V the K,
and pursuant to winning the contest declared here
to top the masterful DU scientific debunking
of the neo-con Jewish theory that airplanes
(hah! airplanes!) brought down the World Trade Center, we have been inspired, yes, inspired!, and we have been hard at work bringing you exciting new scientific theories that prove that BUSH LIED! I have scientifically debunked the silly notion that the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, and RIP Ford has debunked the myth that Flight 77 hit the Pentagon. What you are about to see will shock you to your very core...this is as close to sitting in an internet electric chair as you're ever likely to get, folks! So put on your seat belts, swallow your tongues, and get ready to have your minds blown. Up. Blown up. Democratic Underground style.
First, RIP Ford's experiment-then mine. I'll hand the microphone over to RIP Ford:
This is RIP Ford
speaking: Time was of the essence. My window of opportunity would be small, the risk high and the peril most perilous. I hopped in the debunk-mobile and made my way to the remains of the local defunct consumerist sleaze pit that I successfully lobbied to shut down two years ago. I was called upon by my conscience to conclusively prove or disprove the events at the Pentagon that eventfully September morning.
Supplies for this experiment, all purchased at my local Fair Trade™ market that fosters an equitable and sustainable global system of production and trade.
Tricky Zionist string caused some minor difficulties, but after about a half hour, I was able to proceed with the experiment.
Unable to procure an exact
model of the aircraft in question, I went with the next best thing offered up by my local Guilt Free establishment. I feel that the trade off in accuracy is more than made up by my contribution to some poor Ecuadorian craftsman who almost surely needed the money more than that Chinaman's offering at Walmart.
This experiment had more than it's share of hazards, but I felt it was my duty as an Dissenting American Patriot to ignore the peril to my own well being to get the truth out to you the public citizen. Here, I found my fingers super glued together.
Time for a healthy recharge.
The final product, all set to go on it's maiden voyage. I christened her the Truth Seeker
, but then realized that personifying the craft in the female tense was sexist and on top of that, I'm a wiccan so I shouldn't be associated with a "christening" anyway. What's the Wicca equivalent? I don't think we have one. I should ask around at the next meet and greet.
I suspected all along that I might be followed, but I never believed that they would catch on to my plot so early. After a long diatribe about the rights of the people over the rights of individuals, she snickered at me and offered to call the cops to sort the mess out. Not willing to give up on the chance to stick it to the man and expose the truth to all, I gave in and was escorted of their precious "private property". I got mine in the end as I gave her the bird and she didn't see me.
I lost the rent a pig when I got on the Interstate. Ha! Take that Nazi. Just to be sure that I wasn't being followed in the air I made a couple of laps around the airport and it's restricted airspace to make sure they couldn't follow me to my secondary test site. But first, I had a meeting with my cohort on this project, my super seekrit scientist at her place of primary employment.
For the purposes of this experiment, I'll call her "Ginger". She's my partner in crime in the quest for TRUTH. We have this special bond that no one around us knows about, and a coded language that only we share. Some day we'll be together 4-ever! I slipped her some bus and lunch money and headed out the door. Refreshed and with a renewed vigor for my quest.
The final set up, with modifications that include a used soda can pop top as a guide for the plane. Reduce Reuse Recycle!
The path of trajectory for the alleged Pentagon Attack on September 11th
. Here, I used a cinder block I found in the park covered with tissue paper to properly represent the walls of the building on the morning of the attack. Pretty freakin' brilliant if you ask me.
A final shot before test to prove the set up was not doctored after my encounter with the 'authorities". Ready to rumble.[Video 1]
The video documenting the set up.[Video 2]
Experiment 1. The plane went tits up on take off, but much information was learned and a new plan of attack was needed. I call "Gingers" office for consultation, but her good friend Dave the Door Guy answered and told me to quit calling. That's our secret code for it's not safe to talk because the Men in Black have her under surveillance. They always have her under surveillance, she's that dangerous to them. I was on my own.
Documenting the aftermath and structural failure of the vertical support spar and minor, superficial burns on the lower staggered wing.
I decided to move the thrust forward to the more significantly rigid fuselage. Some one stole my super glue, I think it was the Feds, so I need to hurry.
Reinforced the connection of the spars to the upper and lower wings. I was assured this added rigidity would not affect the experiment by a delightful homeless man, we'll call him "Barney", who took an interest in the experiment.
Prepared for the second Flight[Video 3]
The velocity required sheared off the wings without getting anywhere near the "Pentagon".
I think I've conclusively proven that no airplane constructed with today's materials could withstand the velocity required to pull off such an extreme maneuver. Occam's Razor dictates that since the experiment failed the only possible conclusion that can be accepted is not of hijackers hell bent on our destruction train for months, take over a plane and crash it like they did in New York, but that the government of ChimpyMcZionBushHilter scrambled in the 45 minute window to formulate a plan to launch a cruise missile into the building. I doubt the conclusive proof will change the minds of all the sheeple, but if I reach just one person than all the risk and perilous peril was worth it. The Truth is Out There Folks.Peace.
-All right, this is evariste again. Here's my experiment to prove that the Titanic was not sunk by an iceberg, in 7 pages. I set out to prove something very simple, but what I discovered shocked even me! A world-changing conspiracy of the first order. Proceed at your own caution, for here there be some terrifying man-eating tygers of Jewish conspiracies...
Who Sank The Titanic? Who? Page 1
Who Sank The Titanic? Who? Page 2
Who Sank The Titanic? Who? Page 3
Who Sank The Titanic? Who? Page 4
Who Sank The Titanic? Who? Page 5
Who Sank The Titanic? Who? Page 6
Who Sank The Titanic? Who? Page 7
I hope you can sleep at night after these revelations.